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Basic Toilet Humor

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone of your Daily, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. It was quite amusing to find out that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Reflect for a moment regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and had to be saved from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook when, at the height of his fame playing for City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach following a short conversation within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies tried desperately to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|